Interstellar Adventure
Adventure: the pursuit of life — Daniel Roy Wiarda

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Keeping Score

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Do you know anyone who is a "score keeper"? This person keeps a mental tally of all of the things they have done and all of the things you have done. These "things" can be good or bad; you hurt their feelings saying this, or you unloaded the dishwasher x number of times in the week. This person then uses the scoresheet to determine their attitude and actions towards you. They decide that they can treat you in a certain way based on your score versus their score. Once you realize this person is a "scorekeeper" it causes you to swing between the attitude of "I must do this so that the scorekeeper will be happy and will be nice to me and do the things I want to do", or you have the attitude of "GRRRR. They're keeping score again and it makes me really mad. I'm not going to do anything they want me to do just because he's keeping score". Neither are healthy ways of living, I'm sure. Would the tables have been turned, and had score been kept on the scorekeeper, score on the "bad list" would have been so high that score would have burst through the roof and they could not have done enough good things of high enough mangitude to ever achieve good/bad balance. Now the scorekeeper has changed things in their life and that "bad list" doesn't get a tally much anymore. Except when they "keep score". Still, how does one deal with a scorekeeper? Confront, ignore, keep your own score? All sound exhausting and have their own issues. I shall confront. We'll see where this gets us. Probably not far, but it's at least out there.

1/16/2005 08:18:00 AM :: ::
  • I discovered on Christmas Day last year that my "best friend" was a score-keeper. We had a minor disagreement, that culminated in her throwing everything she'd done for me in my face. Unfortunately, she refuses to see why it upset me, and it ruined our friendship.

    I don't know that there's a way to maintain a friendship with a scorekeeper, unless you're willing to become one, too. Sorry I don't have much in the way of advice, but I hope you're able to work things out.

    By Blogger Shylah, at 1/16/2005 10:13:00 PM


  • No kidding. I was playing soccer once with some friends and this guy there was a "score keeper". According to him, my team lost 6-0. Jeez, that guy was annoying (and our goalie was terrible).

    By Blogger C, at 1/17/2005 10:52:00 AM


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