Interstellar Adventure
Adventure: the pursuit of life — Daniel Roy Wiarda

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So maybe he's not all bad...

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Last night I went to dinner with the kids and my soon-to-be-ex. I haven't done this in the last three months. For awhile, in the beginning, every time he picked the kids up for his nights out with them, he invited me along. I declined enough that he finally stopped asking. But, last night Z had a basketball game at 9 (which, IMO is waaay to late for 10 year olds to be playing basketball), so we had a bit of time before the game. We went to one of our local favorites, Falafel & More. We know the owners fairly well, and the food is delicious. I had the lamb kebabs, and some kind of beef/rice/pea pastry puff thing that was so very yummy. Since we had the extra time to kill, and we haven't had a chance to talk recently, we sent the kids over to the other side of the restaurant (it's a small place and was totally empty except for us). A couple of weeks ago, he had brought me all these papers from the lawyer that he didn't understand. I looked at them (briefly) and didn't really understand them either. Plus, I was sticking to my guns that he's going to have to do all the hard work on this since he was the instigator. I'll sign and initial where I have to, but that's about it. So, he made a second appointment with his lawyer to get some kindergarden level explanations. He's meeting with her today. So, I had to tell him a whole list of things I was expecting to be outlined in the papers. He didn't balk at any of what I said, which kind of surprised me. And then I talked about a lot of the activities I've been doing lately, and he actually told me that he was really happy that I was doing so much and doing so well. He said that the hardest thing about making the decision he did was that it would hurt me so much, and I didn't deserve that. And I told him that now that I've had time to reflect on the situation, I realize it was best. That I don't feel the stress and the pressure that I did months ago, and that I actually was relieved. He's not a bad guy, just not the right guy for me. While it hurts, I'm glad that he and I are able to discuss things like we did last night in a calm and rational manner. (Yes, those of you who know me so well, I can be calm and rational!) I actually felt good for once after talking with him. But, I still want Disc 2 of my John Mayer, Any Given Thursday CD back... Then we went to Z's basketball game and watched our team get slaughtered...we were down to just 5 players due to summer vacations, so the boys played the whole game. The other team had bigger kids, 3 fresh subs, and were very aggressive. Even when they were up by 20 points, they were still being super-aggressive. I was mad that their coach didn't call them off a bit. No need to press in the last quarter when you're up by that much! Dang!

6/23/2005 10:31:00 AM :: ::
  • Hang in there Lass. It's a long process, and it sounds like you're holding your own. ^j^

    By Blogger poopie, at 6/23/2005 04:14:00 PM


  • Just make sure he takes care of you and the kids, and don't forget about any potential future earnings he may get, and college for the kids.

    By Blogger annie, at 6/23/2005 11:14:00 PM


  • Oh believe me, I've thought about the 'future earnings' thing. That was one of the things he didn't balk at...'renegotiation of support when he makes more money'.

    By Blogger InterstellarLass, at 6/24/2005 09:46:00 AM


  • Divorce is difficult. My situation isn't exactly like yours, however it was annoying and messy. It's nice when you can reach a point where you can actually talk to the ex without having a blowout.

    Good luck!!

    By Blogger Jolynn, at 6/24/2005 10:17:00 AM


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